The End of Good Weather Forever
The Grim Reaper
No. 10 in a never-ending series. Summer 1994
Fifteen years of Tory rule have brought us many benefits such as Sunday trading, the Criminal Justice Bill and the Falklands War. Now the Tories are proud to announce their ultimate achievement - the end of good weather forever.
When Labour was in power concern for the weather was so high on their agenda that they even appointed a Minister for Rain in 1976 (there not being enough of the stuff at the time). Shortly after he was appointed, the heavens opened. The fact was that in those days, under Labour rule you could enjoy the summer. When the sun came out you slapped on the Factor 2 and didn't worry about skin cancer. If jogging was your thing, providing you didn't do it on the hard shoulder of the M4, it was unlikely you'd be bothered by asthma.
After fifteen years of chaotic Tory planning and transport policies that's
all changed. A long warm settled sunny summer spell was once considered
good weather. Now you get cancer from the sunshine and asthma from the air.
As the Independent newspaper said, sunshine is now 'lethal'. The
Guardian
also holds the weather at fault - as a headline said Air pollution
warning issued as temperature soars to record
. The Department of the
Environment's own air quality information
line (0800 556677) also believes
the weather can make you sick. It advises during periods of settled
weather when air pollution is high you may feel a little uncomfortable. You
might cough or feel some chest pain. It might help to increase your
treatment
. If you suffer ill effects you should avoid strenuous
or outdoors activities
, and, if you are a child, you should not
take part in sport
. We all contribute to the problem
,
continues Mr. Helpful from the DoE, trying to offload the guilt from
motorists to non car-owners too. Amongst their useful suggestions are
don't park in the sun
and don't leave a roof rack on your
car as this increases fuel consumption
. Strangely absent is the
suggestion to leave your bloody car at home because you already kill 2000
asthma sufferers a year and that might be enough.
Do I detect some muddled thinking here? I mean, is it the weather or the cars that make you sick? Let's get the picture straight. The Tories achieved a doubling of car use and plan for a further doubling by early next century. There are now so many cars being driven so many miles that whenever the weather is 'good' it will in fact be exceedingly dangerous and bad for our health.
Sure, the government is criminally negligent, but individuals must also be personally responsible for their own actions. Sure, some people will always need to make some journeys by car, but 60% of journeys in town are less than two miles - and, providing the drivers are fit, they have little excuse not to walk, use a bus, or cycle. The Grim Reaper suggests you approach your car-addicted friends and work colleagues and personally challenge them about their car use. Make them aware that their car use is just as responsible for the asthma epidemic and congestion as the car in front. Make them feel personally guilty. Make them aware of the consequences of their car use, and the alternatives.
Driving must become as socially unacceptable as drink-driving is now, otherwise I shall be reaping a huge harvest of pollution victims each year.
Enjoy the summer - if you can!
The Grim Reaper
